7 Tips on How You Can Survive SPM 2015

1. Never Make A Study Plan

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You’re a student, not a teacher. Who makes plans anyways? - Oh right, teachers! Planning will just make your studying become more effective so that you have more time to review your other subjects, and why would you do that? That will not benefit you in any way at all!

2. Do Things Alone

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When you want to study, it is better that you do it alone because studying in groups will just make everyone understand what each other do not understand from a subject lecture. Why do you want to do that? You are awesome already and if you do that, that will make you more awesome. Give others a chance to become awesome. Ok?

3. Do Not Use Past Year Papers or Materials Instead Use Coconuts

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Studying past year papers will give you a clue what the exams would be like for your SPM this November and some say they passed SPM because of this. Why would you do that? There are so many materials to study, that means you need to study more. Just go ask the nearest Bomoh [Bahasa Melayu for Witch Doctor] and ask for their coconuts for the answers, easier! 

4. Always Find A Distraction

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Because why not? You have been in your classes for 6-8 hours every weekday plus you need 8 hours sleep, then you need to prepare to go to school and travel, so that is around two (2) hours. Then, you have to do house chores like cooking and cleaning - three (3) hours. In total, you have used up 21 hours already, then the remaining three (3) hours, you need watch some K-drama or cartoons, or else, you will be left out from school and you won’t have any friends to lepak (Bahasa Melayu for hanging out) with any more. So where is the time to study then?

5. Always Have A Negative Attitude

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Why would you have a positive attitude? Studies show that positive thinkers actually live longer and outperform negative thinkers. You want to get good results in SPM, right? But live longer, that means you have to study longer for SPM then. So, better have a negative attitude so SPM would finish faster. #TwistedLogic

6. Only Study The Day Before SPM.

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You have been studying for almost two years now and studying more for this exam, one (or two) months in advance is not going to make things better. Sure, reviewing your past lessons will help get better results for SPM but your classmates are probably doing the same thing already, and because you want to be unique, you don’t need to study because #YOLO.

7. Do Not Sleep On The Night Before The Exam

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One rule! Don’t sleep. Sleeping for 8 hours will make you more focused the next day so that you can answer SPM questions clearer and sleep is good for your body to function well. Screw that! You should be focusing watching some K-dramas or anime because these are more important than your future. Hello!

Disclaimer: This article is to inform students about the bad habits that are common to students of all levels may it be SPM season or any form of an exam. If you want to troll your friends, don’t forget to share this post! :)